1. The wordless fist bump.
Often, the less overt and demonstrative your praise, the more meaningful it will be. There is power in acknowledging true accomplishment with the smallest, simplest gesture.
It gives it a weightiness and significance, as if the work or improvement is too sacred to make a big deal out of. This is the idea behind the wordless fist bump.
The way it works is that you’re first going to give the student you’d like to praise a private moment to enjoy their accomplishment. Let them revel in it a beat or two before inserting yourself into the narrative.
When the time feels right, approach calmly and, while making eye contact, hold out your fist so they have to reach to bump it. Then move on quickly without waiting for further response.
And that’s it. When the student knows what prompted your praise, there is no reason to say anything at all. In fact, it’s often best if you don’t.
Although smiling is perfectly okay, a more determined look can sometimes give the moment that secret sauce that shakes them down to their shoes.
2. The smile and nod from across the room.
In a similar vein as the fist bump, catching a student’s eye from across the room as they’re enjoying their moment can be so, so powerful.
It’s as if you’re admiring them and their accomplishment from afar and they just happen to catch you watching them.
If you’re actively aware of your students’ successes, and you should be, you’ll notice them trying to make eye contact with you, though sometimes shyly, to get your reaction or share in the experience.
If you’re someone they respect and admire, then a slight smile and head nod declaring your pride and approval will mean the world to them.
3. The surprise note.
I love leaving notes for students. Just showing that you’re willing to take the time to write to them personally is something they’ll always remember.
I have former students who still have notes I wrote to them more than 20 years ago. The key is to use special stationery (post-its are a no-no) and write in your most careful, delicate handwriting.
Fold it crisply, secure it privately with a piece of tape, and speak from the heart. Make your words direct, specific, and keep exclamations and smiley faces to a minimum.
Again, the lack of frivolity adds depth and dignity to the gesture. The more meaningful and cherished it is to the student, the more it will rev their intrinsic motivational engine.
Praise That Matters
There are times when enthusiastic, over-the-top praise is right for the moment, when a welling up of pride in a student’s success bursts out of you. “Way to go, Jonah! I love your essay! Now, this is what I’m talking about.”
Because you’re recognizing something the student is already feeling inside. You’re not overshadowing their accomplishment or disrupting their quiet satisfaction.
You’re just letting them know that you see it too.
Which is a powerful thing.
Noticing improvement, hard work, or success beyond what your students have done before, and simply noting it—the pure truth of it—can be profoundly meaningful to them.
But it takes a keen eye, a soft touch, and a willingness to hold back, just a little, in order to create the perfect moment.
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